First trimester fashion

I didn't mention this before but what prompted me to take a pregnancy test in the first place was a 3 pound weight gain. My periods have never been that regular. So while being late by 2 - 3 weeks was not anything to ignore, it didn't alarm me too much. About a month earlier, my fiance started the Atkins diet to loose weight. Within one month, he had already dropped 10 pounds. Since I always wanted to drop 5 pounds, I thought that I would try it too. After one week, I not only did not lose weight but gained 3 pounds instead. I was excerising on the Wii Fit at the same time and the program would make those insensitive comments like, "You need to work out more", or something like that.

Within the first 3 months, I gained about 10 pounds. I'm only 5'2 so any weight gain is pretty noticeable. By 2 months, alot of my clothese already did not fit. I could no longer button my jeans and button down shirts strained across my now non-existent waist line. I started using a belly band over my jeans and I started wearing alot more tunics and loose blousy tops. But even with the belly band, my jeans were getting very tight. Check out a popular brand of the band here http://www.ingridandisabel.com/bellaband.html. Notice the description of Amber. She's still wearing her pre-pregnancy jeans at 18 weeks. I could hardly squeeze into my jeans by 8 weeks. Luckily, loose tops and leggings were in fashion.

I went to a maternity store arond the end of my 2nd month to check out the clothes. I desparately needed some bottoms that fit. Most of the styles in the store had the huge belly band that goes all the way up to your chest. Check then out here http://www.motherhood.com/maternity/secret-fit-belly.asp. I tried one on and felt pretty ridiculous. During your first trimester, you don't have a belly bump yet. You're just bloated and look like you ate or drank too much. I decided that it was too soon for me to buy maternity clothes and left the store emptyhanded.

To get by at work I got some pull on pants with elastic waist bands in my normal size from New York & Company http://www.nyandcompany.com/nyco/browse/productDetailWithPicker.jsp?FLCat=cat580006&productId=prod1460170&categoryId=cat580012&addFacet=1002:cat580012. Two weeks after buying them, they no longer fit. By my 3rd month, I starting mixing in some maternity clothes into my work wordrobe. I was wearing lots of black tops, black sweaters and black pants. On days where I had a court or type of appearance, I struggled to find suit type clothes in my closet that fit. At this point, I had not told my employer that I was expecting. But like I said, the weight gain on me was surely noticeable (at least I thought it was). I avoided standing around the partners for too long for fear that they would be notice my slightly rounded belly and change in clothing.

I complained to a friend who recently had a baby that alot of maternity clothese were humongous and didn't fit me. I am now aware how obnoxious and ridiculous I must have sounded. She told me that by my last trimester, I would be growing out of my maternity clothes. I didn't know how that would happen, but it surely did.

Breaking the news

My fiancé told his friends immediately by sending a picture of my positive pregnancy test to them. One friend called back and asked if the dog was pregnant. That night he went out with them to seek some emotional support I guess. Luckily, they are a good group of guys and didn't freak him. He broke the news to his dad when he rolled into town a few weeks later. I saw the two of them sitting on the sofa having what looked like a serious conversation one night. I nervously went upstairs to wait for an reaction. Although he is already in his late twenties, he still relies on his dad for financial support. We live in the family home rent free! Without his dad, he probably wouldn't be able to work his non-profit position. I could tell that he was nervous about telling his dad for fear that he disapprove and totally cut him off. Turns out his dad was very supportive. I think maybe he was ready for a grandchild.

I didn't know how my parents were going to take the news. While I wouldn't say that they are ultra conservative, they are pretty traditional Chinese parents. It was the end of the world when I broke up with my Chinese boyfriend. They generally like my fiancé, but I know that they would have preferred someone Chinese. Whenever my mom talked about marriage, she would bring up the wedding dowry or bride price. Here is a good description of the practice. http://myweddingplanningtips.com/2009/07/02/chinese-wedding-traditions-the-bride-price-or-ping-kam/ I know, its weird and we live in America now. Still, my parents still expect the traditional Chinese wedding with the huge wedding banquet and all the customs. So here I was, pregnant and unmarried. What shame! Surprisingly, my mom took it pretty well. She loves grandkids. Of course, she asked me when I was going to get married and asked whether my finance's parents were going to all the customary things. When I told her that his parents are very Americanized and wouldn't understand these customs, she made it sound like I was unloved and unwanted by his family. Maybe I'm making a big deal out of it. I just find it awkward to say, “Excuse me future father-in-law, would you mind going to my parents house to negotiate the bride price?” Plus, I have no idea on how to mix all the wedding customs and make everyone, including myself, happy. That's the reason why more than half a year after getting engaged, we still hadn't set a wedding date. It's just too much stress! What about eloping? But will I regret it years later? I left it to my mom to tell my dad. From what I hear, he just exclaimed, “She's pregnant?!” and made some comment about this is what happens when you have girls.

I'm pregnant!

Whenever I heard someone say that their pregnancy was an accident or unplanned I always thought to myself, "Well you did know that their was a chance of getting pregnant if you don't use protection right?! DUH!" Well, I had to eat my words when I got pregnant.

I'd been dating my guy for 5 years before we got engaged. More than half a year later we still hadn't picked out a date. There was no rush. We were living together and I felt like we were already married anyways. I always talked about having kids and wanting a baby, even more than wanting to be married. My guy was more ambivalent about it and wanted to wait until we were both in our thirties. I was on birth control for most of our relationship but had stopped about a year earlier because I just got annoyed with it. I had switched to some awful brand covered by my health insurance that would give me an upset stomach. I forgot to take my pill quite often. And after 5 years of dating, we were not having sex as often as we were during the first few years (yes, I know, passion does fade). So we just swtiched over to using condoms.

One night after having two large mojoitos, I wasn't thinking clearly enough to use protection (I don't know what he was thinking). About a month and a half later my boobs started to swell and I was feeling bloated and tired. Same symptoms as my period! So everyday for about two weeks I thought that I was going to get my period any day now. What a relief! Well, my period never came. I brought a pregnancy test from the drugstore. It came with two of the positive negitive type test and one digital test. After getting home on a Friday night I used one of the positive negitive tests. When I looked at the result, I thought "Oh, not pregnant, okay". Then after another minute I decided to take another look at the test and realized that I had read it wrong. That's another thing I thought was silly before getting pregnant. How can anyone misread a pregnancy test?! Well, I did and I have a J.D. degree under my belt okay! I took the digital pregnancy test and the result clearly stated "PREGNANT". I'm pregnant! My first reaction was worry. I was worried about how my fiance was going to handle and I was nervous was about telling him. That night, we went out to dinner with our friends and I tried to act as normal as I could. Except I had a soda instead of beer.

Early the next morning, I learned over to him while we were both in bed and said, "I have something to tell you, I'm pregnant". The first words out of his mouth were "Fuck, Shit, Shit, Shit". No, I'm not exaggerating. Those were his exact words. I wasn't upset about it. I thought it would be worse. Like he might run out of the room and hop on the first flight out. To triple confirm things, I took the last pregnancy test and showed it to him. See! I'm pregnant. Here's proof. Then he told me that we would just work things out, hugged me, and asked me if it was ok if he hung out with his friends that night.

My first entry

I am writing this while my baby is sleeping. Trust me, I am seriously fighting the urge to take a nap right now. When you have a newborn, you only have time to do things when the baby is sleeping. Of coursem, everyone knows that new parents don't get as much sleep as they would like. There is the much repeated line, "Sleep when the baby sleeps". Well, I try to do that as much as possible. But you have to shower, eat, do laundry and pay bills too. Craming everything into the baby's naptimes and getting sleep for myself takes time management and multitasking skills. So why am I spending my precious time writing a blog? Because after having my baby, I've been thinking about my expereinces. The good, the bad and everything in between. I didn't write anything while I was pregnant and hardly took any pictures. So this is my attempt to save those memories while they are still fresh in my mind. This blog will contain my experiences going through pregnancy, childbirth and becoming a mother.